I ate so much today.
 
I hate myself. i can't even fucking commit to one god damn day. I'm so fucking huge, it's disgusting. Everything around me is falling apart. I can't keep anything together anymore. I hate the way I look. I know [I just know] that if I were thinner everything would be better.

Michael is going to leave me soon. And it's because I'm the biggest mess in the world. I've done horrible things that he doesn't even know about since I've been back in college. Things I can't tell him, things I refuse to type right now because I don't even want to admit them. It's so hard to be at school 2 hours away from him.
My roomate [my best friend] joined a sorority, so she met all these new people and left me alone everynight. I don't have anyone. I need a friend. Just one person, who really understands me. 
College is so expensive. Tuition, books, rent, bills, groceries, and actually having a life. I hate asking my parents for money. I'm always looking for a job, but no one ever hires me. [because I'm fat??]
I'm not smart. I don't know why the hell this university accepted me anyway. I lost my scholarship last year because I didn't make good grades. And I failed another exam today. All I kept doing yesterday was eating and not studying.
Halloween is coming up soon. Skimpy costumes. And I'm huge. 

I'm going to lose 7 pounds by the end of this month!! I AM! I HAVE TO! I have to lose my 7pounds before Halloween. Before I see Michael again. If I ever want to be happy again, I will do this!!

I went grocery shopping today. Got some carrots, celery, tuna, and tea. That's all I will be eating for this month. And EXERCISING a ton. Must do this! Gotta reach that GW!

 Today is a new day. My goals will be achieved and I am starting now. Once I reach my GW, everything will be okay. My boyfriend will love me more, school will be better and my friends will notice me again.